To aid in deliverance

As a warning, disclaimer, sidenote, or whatever you, dear reader, would prefer to call it: Everything written below is true.


I never wanted to be a lawyer. I preferred, I thought, to remain as far from confrontation as possible, in my corner, with my passions, perhaps using compassion to become a physician. Indeed, until I went to college, and even after I did so,  I yearned to deliver babies. In truth, I haven't relinquished the desire to get certified in some sort of midwifery setting, but that's besides the point.
Right, so, everyone looks at me like I have three heads at this point and says "So, what in the world are you doing here?!" I get it. You're wondering why a girl with no desire to be a lawyer just subjected herself to three years of hard, or even brutal work, to get to a place she never really expected or wanted to be. I'm still tracking. I understand that.

Perhaps the only answer I can give anyone, but at the forefront, myself, is this: I was born to deliver babies.
Ah! You're thinking "But you decided not to go to medical school, so...?" Well, delivery is at the beginning, deliverance can come at any time.
So many children are brought into the world under difficult, less than ideal, or even terrible circumstances. On some levels, I was one of those. Many people believe my life to be sad, and its circumstances worthy of pity. Granted, it hurt, and yes, it still does sometimes, but those people, all of them, are mistaken. Every ounce of my life has brought me to right here, right now. Wading through ridiculous amounts of information I care little about, for a tiny card that fits in my wallet. A card which bears a number...a card serving as a license to deliver.
No...I didn't expect this for myself. At 26 I thought I'd be a few years into marriage, and beginning the process of parenthood by now. Of course, that's not where I am, and instead I spend my rather full days studying for a test spanning 15 hours over a three day period. I spend my time investing in young women I love with my whole heart, and pouring into the lives of my friends and their children. I spend my days learning what I want, and what I don't want, when motherhood is a daily part of my life.
I don't spend those days wishing I had gone to medical school, though, I am an anatomy freak, and I don't spend my life thinking it's a waste of time.
Delivery is at the beginning, deliverance can come at anytime.

The bar exam is something I don't want to deal with. I really don't, but because I believe I'm appointed to victory, and called to deliver orphans from the ache of being unwanted, unloved, or without a place to belong, I am here.
I know all of these feelings, though, I myself have been loved in miraculous and incredible ways, I know what it's like to be that child.
So...as one who experienced some of what I seek to fight, I am reignited in the understanding that nothing is wasted when obedience is our first desire. Nothing is lost. No, I probably didn't have as much fun in law school as I might have in medical school, but I'll come away with exactly what I was supposed to have...a license to aid in deliverance.
I guess delivery is someone else's job for now.