Just One Question...

 Especially for three very wonderful professors...and a group of bountifully beloved 2L's all of whom have, in their own ways, reminded me that life is about One Answer, and not a bunch of unnecessary questions...

"If you were faced with Him in all His glory, what would you ask if you had just one question? What if God was one of us...Just a stranger on the bus, tryin' to make His way home. Yeah, yeah, God is Great, yeah, yeah, God is good."

This song gets me every time I hear it. In fact, I think I wrote an entry on this very blog a couple YEARS ago about it.  That time, I think I focused on God becoming human, this time, it's something different entirely. I always bow low at the line "If you were faced with Him in all His glory, what would you ask if you had just one question?"

Humanity fills me for a second, and I think of all of the things I'd like to know. Why orphans exist, why children die, why abuse occurs, but really, I know the answer to that, it's called sin. So, moving on, what would my question be? Why do I walk funny? When will you heal me? Nope. Neither of those would be it, because I figure it doesn't matter why I walk funny, it won't change the fact that I do, and when my body will become whole physically is not something that matters enough to be that one question, because, well, the way I see it, every set of eyes who sees my struggle is another set of eyes that may potentially see Jesus, so I wouldn't ask Him that...I really wouldn't.

What then? If God came to me in a bush that burned but did not die, if He passed me and caused my face to glow to the point of needing covering, if He called me "mighty warrior" like Gideon, if He touched my face, if He sat beside me in the library and said "Ask away." What would come before the question mark?
Right now, perhaps my loved ones would think "Where do I go from here?, or What would you have me do?, but even those will be revealed in time, and He knows how much time, so if I had only one, it wouldn't be one of those either.

People always say they don't understand why things happen, and they wish they could ask God why this, or why that, I guess I understand that, but ultimately, I don't ask why a lot. I understand that sin is responsible for suffering being introduced into the world, and that's really all I care to know about why, as such, I have no desire to vilify God in the midst of something simple like a piece of fruit that wasn't supposed to be consumed. I'm sorry, was that irreverent? Not my intention, but I honestly feel like I've been asked that question so many times "Are you angry at God?" NO! He told them what not to do, right? They did that thing, and the consequences flowed into the veins of all who came after them...did I miss something? It doesn't make it easier, it doesn't make it fun, to experience the heartache that comes with fractured families, slaughtered generations, physical struggles, heartache, hateful words, poverty, hunger, and lack, but it does mean it's not necessary, in my mind, to ask why...because, well, He told them not to.

Well, what then?
It goes back to a vision I saw when I was 10 or so, it was me...I saw a crater, larger than any gap I've ever seen...and suddenly I saw myself at one side of the hole. As I stood there, a large beam fell into place with an incredible noise, and I began to walk the gap on that beam. I did not just walk, I danced, freely, and with no thought of tumbling, I just moved across. Somehow, and somewhere along the way, though, I lost my balance, and I fell, down, down, down, and downest...I saw no bottom, I just keep going...and then...just as I was becoming sure that I'd fall to a horrible end and shatter into a million pieces like a glass of water knocked from the counter to a tile floor, I saw them. A set of arms so resolute and strong, unwilling to allow my falling body any contact with the bottom, wherever the bottom might have been. I fell into those arms safely with no sound, none, and that was the end of what I saw.
That was the first vision I had as a child, and I never forgot it.
It was a picture of ardent rescue, of adamant redemption.

On that day, and in the years that followed, as my life filled with pictures far less beautiful, and people far less caring, I realized that I had two choices: I could live my life asking questions where the answers would change nothing, or I could live my life for the only answer I had: Jesus. I chose option two, and still I had, and have only one question I can't wrap my head around.

It's not "What now?" or "Why did this happen?", and it's not even, "Are You serious?" or "Why is law school so incredibly difficult for me and yet you called me here?" It's not "Why do I spend 12 hours in the library some days and still make grades that make me cringe?" "Why can't I run marathons?" "Why did I have to see/hear/feel/experience that?" No, no, no, none of that, really it's not. My life is so rich and lavish, and I've experienced far more than most 25 year olds, seen far more of the world than a great many, met and loved far more people than I deserve, and held a great many more hands than most people do in 80 years (that really is a bit of a perk if you ask me), plus, I have a blue placard and can park closer than you ;).

So what would my question be?
 Well, since I figure "Why did this happen?" Would be a waste of perfectly good conversation, since I know enough about why that I don't have a voracious desire to know more, I really don't, my question would not be "Why this?" But rather "Why that?" Not, "Why did this happen?" but "What is it you saw in me, exactly, or in any of us, that compelled you to yearn for my rescue, and then redeem me Yourself?" I can't say I know exactly how He'd answer, because I don't know Him in all His glory, it would be too much for any of us to know that, but my guess is He'd tell me that He created me (and you) in His image, and He could not allow His image to be destroyed, so He sent His image to earth, to be mocked, whipped, and even killed, but in this, His image was never destroyed, because Jesus led captivity captive, and is right now alive, just as you and I.
God was one of us, and if I were faced with Him in all His glory, I think I'd ask Him why He decided we were worth such a price, why He chose to rescue us...and then I smile, because the sweetest answer I can chose is probably the one He would offer me: "Because You're Mine."


Life is given to us for His glory, and we can choose to grieve its circumstances, or live bountifully in them, but regardless of which we choose, it doesn't change the fact that HE chose us, He chose adamant rescue, though we didn't deserve it, and that answer makes all the difference in the world...All of the difference between heartache, and highest praise...and I don't have much to ask anymore, because all I want is more of what He already yearns to give me...Himself.

Asked and Answered,
Courtney