Every Title Has a Story

In middle school, I either read somewhere, or was told, that a good author never titles a piece of writing until she has finished it. The rationale was that every piece of writing morphs as it's being written, and the good author then has all of the piece to work with upon giving it a name.
I'm not certain I subscribe to that philosophy. Names are so important. So important, in fact, that I often find special terms of affection for those closest my heart, because, just like all stories have titles, all titles have stories. Sometimes, though, life becomes a story so vast, beautiful, exquisite, and raw, that titles seem so small for such things.

Herein I dwell.
Herein I am astounded.
Herein I am humbled.
Herein I am grateful.

Lao Tzu (I'm not sure who that is) said "Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives your courage." This.is.awesome.
So true.
My heart went to Jesus, in the garden. He prayed so hard He sweat blood. It's called hematidrosis, and it typically happens when a human being is subjected to such severe mental anguish that the fight or flight response is provoked, and the sweat glands produce blood.
There He was. Son of the Most High, alone, in a garden, sweating blood.
There He was, Son of the Most High, with His Father, in a garden, getting strength, and showing courage.
Loved by His Father, Jesus chose the cross, receiving strength to take the cup. Loving us deeply He refrained for denying the cup, and took it, and courage, instead.
Love often does it's best work not when we feel strong, or courageous, but rather when we are weak and timid, for in receiving love, we become the first, and in giving it, the second.

Today, after perhaps one of the most brutal and life changing weeks with regard to the understanding of strength and courage, I sat in the presence of a single letter of my alphabet for two hours of Saturday morning.
I articulated the following thought "Your life will, I know, at times, step on toes. If we're living our lives correctly, that's always going to be true of any life, somewhere. Not everyone will always be happy with you, and fence riders are perhaps the most disrespected group of people in all the world, because they stand for nothing. Standing for something will give you respect, even if people don't always like you for your decisions. When you decide something that steps on someone's toes, ask yourself if your decision was righteous. If the decision you made was to the glory and obedience of God, then may you step remembering that His face is the only face you'll answer to at the end of it all. If every person says nothing but perfect things about you it actually reflects negatively on your authenticity, and you are quite authentic. ;)"
I couldn't believe I was leveling with her like this. This letter who does indeed keep me hopping, and bulldozes me, sometimes. This one who is often used to level me...I found myself having courage, and leveling, too.
I thought of how many people have flat out called me horrible names, used horrible adjectives to describe me, and undeniably said they had no use for me. Yay! :)
Then, I thought about my week. How in the past week, a donut date gained a new friend, brutal weeping occurred on my couch, a lunch date reminded me what matters most, as the companion on the outing missed class unintentionally to spend time with me, and then, brokenness showed up again, and continued as I just happened to be in the bathroom at just the right moment to literally catch a comrade in my arms as she wept.
It has been said that my balance is not the steadiest, nor my legs the strongest, but my heart is steady, and my arms are indeed strong, I can only hope this is always so.
Then, the week crescendoed last night as an individual who had committed an offense worthy of my immense righteous anger sat before me in close proximity and began to speak.
I spoke in return, talked about the redemption of Christ, how even when we do wrong, things are not over, because that's not our God.
By the end, that person might not have liked everything I said, and maybe toes were crushed, but tears were also shed on my shoulder, and thanks AND love expressed.

My life is so lavishly full that often I find titles too small for what I learn, however, I will say, it's so true, being loved deeply gives strength, and loving deeply gives courage.

John 16:33

You belong to HIM, you are HIS, your life is meant to be an authentic example of WHO HE MADE YOU to be. CONFORMITY is for the weak...and His love should make you strong.
Take Courage, YOUR GOD has OVERCOME...and so will you.

You are HIS, and don't forget to tell people why, and how, because EVERY TITLE has a story.

With Courtney Style Love,
Me