Like the Cool Kids...

"She says 'I wish that I could be like the cool kids, cause all the cool kids they seem to fit in, I wish that I could be like the cool kids, like the cool kids." ~Echosmith "Cool Kids"



This song is everywhere on pop radio. I saw as a preview to a movie the other day. It's catchy, and maybe even kind of cute, maybe, but it's also something else...it's heartbreaking. Perhaps unintentionally, Echosmith has pierced the heart of mainstream American culture. We are (yes, we are) notorious for labels. The cool kid wears the hippest clothes, says the "right" words, and somehow maintains a following and a star for being part of "the in crowd." Anyone who finds himself (or herself) at the fringes of the cool kid circle just doesn't make the cut. But...who is it? Who is the invisible force who decides which ones  get the "cool kid" designation?

Well, perhaps the answer has changed over the years, but today, right now, in 2014 America...it's culture. If we do not bow, don't wear the right clothes (which in some instances happens to be almost no clothes at all), if we don't tolerate everything, if we refuse to stand in the land of the gray, if we refuse relativism for absolutes...we're not cool kids anymore.

This is ludicrous.

Culture wants us to tolerate everything, culture says no values, no black or white, culture says no lines. To each his/her own. Culture says. In the wake of this tolerate everything mindset, culture demeans people. Culture says people should be held responsible for their own actions, that everything is ok, and we (the uncool kids) are the problem, and must simply learn to deal. Culture defines a cool kid in terms of acceptance and pseudo-compassion* *Saying nothing when people do things that ruin them IS NOT COMPASSIONATE*...
Culture says the cool kid gets cozy with everyone, that a cool kid doesn't act with *intolerance*. Give me a break, will you?
I've been mentoring girls since I was 16 years old. I have seen girls come to me after getting drunk, or worse, and have talked to them about why they did it, or whatever else they wanted to say. More often than not, the answer to the inquiry is this: "I felt pressure." So, to be a cool kid you have to do it the gray way, or no way at all? They tell us that we should be "tolerant" and accept everything...and then they apply HUGE PRESSURE to be just that way.  But I thought we were supposed to be tolerant? I thought everything was relative? Cue the double standards.

Don't get me wrong, I understand compassion. I understand it intimately. It means that you don't let people destroy themselves. It means pity for the sufferings and misfortunes of others. Not everyone demanding my compassion and acceptance considers him/herself less fortunate, do they? No...these are the cool kids...and the bullies. They want me to be compassionate...and they'll beat me up to make me so.

I submit that culture has it all wrong about what makes a cool kid.

Cool kids sit at a red light singing "It's the End of the World as We Know it" at the top of their lungs.
Cool kids fall asleep at 8:30 after eating dinner, watching a movie, and enjoying time.
Cool kids are willing to stand up for what is right...and in my opinion,  the coolest of kids believe that there is a such thing.

If culture's definition of cool kid wins out, I don't want to be one. If the other one wins out, I already am one.

Here's to my cool kids, the best coffee drinking, radio blaring, movie watching, popcorn eating crew any girl could ever ask for.

Keep your heads up... You're so cool,

Courtney