Among the Threshed

"Holy, Holy, Holy, Holy, Lord! The earth is Yours and singing..." Michael Gungor

"...sifted like wheat, and the threshing floor is violent..."
~Papa

Here goes.

There's something about God I absolutely love...I love everything about Him, but, this one thing I love so desperately...He has never once apologized for anything. What that means is this: God has never once made a single mistake, or done a single thing by accident. All of us, no matter what we had, what we have, or what we yearn for, apologize for something.

For many, it's an apology of regret, for an action taken they now wish they had avoided...The regretful crowd is proactive, telling sons, daughters, younger siblings, nieces, nephews and friends "not to make the same mistake."
The regretful crowd may apologize for the action, but perhaps more for the consequence...either way, the apology is often pervasive, and the mistake often looms in the corner of every party, every joyful moment, and somewhere tucked in the corner of the day. The wish that in that moment, something different would have been done so as to change things for the better in the present, something would have been decided differently in the past.

This is the apology of regret.

For others it's an apology of omission, the knowledge that something should have been said or done that wasn't, and in that moment, the sin of omission becomes something the person never wants to do again. Making doubly sure that all things necessary are stated outright, and in so much as that person is able, omission is a thing of the past.
Omission is difficult because in my experience it happens when people die and we wish we could have said something we left unspoken.

For me, though, apology has become something of a pervasive issue, apologizing almost literally, for the breaths that I take sometimes, I was compelled to pull out my mightiest weapon...the Word, the Holy one, and the written one in general.
God ordained things a certain way, and when they don't happen that way, we are often compelled to apologize, even though it's unnecessary. When people break us, we apologize, Whether we do it because we feel like our existence doesn't matter, or because in brokenness we made mistakes we aren't proud of, whatever the cause of our apologies, we find ourselves (again, perhaps I should just say "I find myself") poised to put our hands up and defend something in us that we don't need to defend, because, well, that's all we've ever known to do. Some of us *read: this some one* are conditioned to live apologetically because we think our existence makes things harder, less fun, or that we don't really belong anywhere anyway...all are lies from hell's pit. Satan wants you (us, me) to be captives so that setting the captives free is no longer an option for any of us.

My father recently told me that certain people are sifted like wheat, and the threshing floor is violent.  Those who are carried to the threshing floor receive a strengthening of faith in the shadows of the violence of that place. Threshed. God does this. You're all wide eyed and you're probably thinking that I think God is a villain or that I must view Him as horrific...goodness, no. See, satan's desire is to cripple the warriors...all of them. God, on the other hand, yearns to equip them. Satan implants kernels in our spirits, in our souls, kernels that bury us, or at least intend to. God, in all His mercy, takes the kernels and waters them for HIS GLORY, kicking satan right between the eyes as He does so.
The Bible says the Kingdom suffers violence, and the violent take it by force...enter...the threshing floor.Even here, or especially here, God is most unapologetic...

Carried tenderly to this violent place we find ourselves laid gently in the midst of instruments that pulverize the heart so gently placed there. What then shall we do as the air is thick with the smell of blood, dust, sweat, and beaten wheat? Carried gently, all we can do now is know...know that since we're here, it must be for a mighty reason. The Father who carried us stands near, not apologizing as we begin to feel the violence of the threshing...and as the threshing threatens to tear us farther from His voice, we have a choice as to whether we will believe He is still there when it's over. The point of  the threshing floor is just that, to remind us that, indeed, He is there just as steadfastly as when He carried us and laid us there. All of this, every second of it, is to prove He is who He says He is, and to give us the most immense possible opportunity to show that to us.

Some who have been threshed were beaten so brutally in the process that they not only apologize for the fact that it happened, they apologize for existing in the first place.

I've been well threshed...and as a result...I have to say this.


God never ONCE apologized for your life, or mine. Some people don't get threshed, that's wonderful, I praise the Lord for those who have been able to rejoice in the character of God because He has given them lives of ease, or of hope, free from most struggles, aside from the occasional heartache or two. Some people do. Some people have never known anything but the thunderous screams of the threshing floor, but in that, they have known something else: triumph.

My name is Courtney...I'm among the threshed.

I apologize too much for a life God is pleased with. Sadly, that happens a lot. Satan wants that. He loves that, and...he hates you. That's right. Satan, father of lies, despises you. All of us, he hates us. He wants our apologies to cripple us, to keep us from believing we are brave or strong enough to wield a weapon of warfare against him. I am guilty of allowing my flesh to fall prey. God never intended for any of us to apologize for our lives. Sure, we all make mistakes, and often we have to apologize for hurting people, for being selfish, for omitting gratitude, for being silent when it was time to speak. But, He never intended ONE OF US to apologize for our lives...not one.

God never apologized for me. In fact, I know He grieves that the actions of many have caused me to feel as though I must apologize for myself, but I don't, and neither do you. God is not apologizing for your existence, in fact, He is receiving great glory because He created you...He is watching, and walking with you as you move  in an unapologetic testament to His glory.

He loves you, so very much, and He will never apologize for that.


This is dedicated to my family members who threatened me with an apology jar today, thanks guys.


Sorry, not sorry,
Courtney