Cradling Hope

 For Athena, and both of my Hannah's

"Surely there is a future, and your hope will not be cut off." Proverbs 23:18

"May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope." Romans 15:13

Faith. Mercy. Grace. Joy. Hope. All of these virtuous names which bring to mind something all people need, all of them make me yearn to be a better vessel of that Gospel I carry in my heart. Every one of these brings a smile to my face, and a certain life to my spirit, but they all do something else, too. Every time I hear one of those words, I think of a smiling child. On this night in the quiet of my space I am particularly moved by the image of Hope.


My apartment smells of a Mango scent one of my favorite girls left on my hoodie as she hugged me with her whole heart less than an hour ago. The scent is beautiful, as was the hug, but it reminded me of something greater than itself.For years I've been telling my girls that we are responsible for the legacy we live, as well as the one we will leave. Our legacy is now, like the scent that clings to my shirt, and hair. Hope is much the same. Often we have little more than a lingering scent of her as she embraces us for a second and goes on her beautiful way. Everybody, every person, has a hope. A hope that the world will be better someday, or maybe a hope to dig wells in Africa, the hope to parent, to change lives, to play sports, to sing, to teach, in all people there can be found a hope. Hope is a runner...she tries to leave, she doesn't sit still, because she's adventurous, and she yearns desperately for the beautiful next thing...she's not discontent, no, no, but the better you feed her, the more you nourish her, the more she seeks to know the next wonder...Hope.

She lingers, she leaves...she reminds me of a little girl, greatly loved and protected by her mother. Children, though, are our responsibility, we are not theirs. I think of this when I consider hope. See, if hope were a child, as I am prone to think of hope, I would not be waiting for her to run in and out of my door every so often to offer a fleeting embrace, and leave. I would not be expecting her to fend for herself and find her own food, coming back to hug me so that maybe, just maybe, I would throw her a crumb. If this were how I treated a child, I'd be reported to the authorities. Of course, hope is not a person, it's an attitude, but, bear with me for a second.... So, Hope, the little girl in ribbons and curls, is hungry, and what of it? Should I, being in a position to feed her, and nurse her scraped knee, allow her to leave my presence scraped and starving....I should hope not *no over use intended*.
It got me to thinking, really thinking, about how I would feel if Hope were a child, and we treated her like we treat the attitude. In, out, feeding her when we feel like it, allowing her to be wounded, and clinging only to a lingering scent somewhere while Hope wanders away hungry....would we do that? Goodness, I pray not. That's why I came to law school, so that children don't experience hunger that is unfed, or scrapes that are uncared for.

I was convicted. Wholly convicted. By a pretty scent lingering in my nose, and a few poignant words from a couple young women who love me so much, and whom I also love. Convicted by the hypocrisy, though unintentional, of my very mortal heart. Hope is a gift. Hope is a gift given to us by God Himself, much like, oh, I don't know, children? Don't get me wrong, I'm not downplaying children and turning them into a state of mind or an attitude, but, I'm saying, if Hope were a person, someone, not something, we would not let her linger and leave...we would not, unless we just didn't care, allow Hope to embrace us briefly, and let her go.
No, much like a mother, protecting a child she so loves, I realized I should be nurturing it...I should be feeding it, yes, it's true...I should be cradling hope.

 "Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for he who promised is faithful." Hebrews 10:23

Hold fast,
Courtney