For the sister, the brother, the pearl , and the love bug in my life, with fervent love, and a reminder that grasshoppers were not created in the Image of God.
Also, for Caleb and Joshua, the brothers, the ones I pray for, the ones of this generation, two with strong, powerful names, who, though I have not met yet, I love, and pray they will be like their biblical predecessors.
It should be noted as you read, that, as in the Bible, the words of Christ are in red.
I love days like this.
Days where I can say that because of His splendor, and because of obedience to His voice, I have learned a life altering lesson.
For 25 years I've spent my life fervently believing I did not have anything of real value to give.
For whatever reason, I could list a few I guess, I talked myself into believing a lie. The lie itself can be condensed into four words "You are a grasshopper!" This phrase is taken from the biblical book of Numbers, chapter 13. Allow me to set the stage?
At this time, Moses is in leadership over the people of Israel, and in an act of leadership, he sends 12 spies to scope out the land that God has promised the people. Ten spies return with a less than favorable report. It goes something like this: "Well, the fruit is abundant, and the place is covered in rich resources, it's flowing with milk and honey, but the people are giants, and to them, and we look like grasshoppers in comparison to them, they must see us as grasshoppers too."
Two spies came back with a different report. The Bible records that Caleb and Joshua had something different to say. Caleb and Joshua were faithful optimists and spoke these words *with Courtney paraphrase* "If the Lord delights in us, He will give us the land." (Numbers 14:8)
This weekend I had the opportunity to see things from a mighty, matchless perspective, the one of the Creator of the universe. When I boldly approached, when I allowed the veil to be torn, a thundering whisper overcame my heart. As my little sister took my hand and said "COME ON!" The Lord spoke to me and said "Spy with her! She wants you to scope the land with her, GO!" She took my hand and pulled me to the aisle with her and as the drums crescendoed and the song talked about filling our cup to overflowing, we locked hands and jumped in unison. In the midst, I touched heaven in a different way than ever before, I touched heaven with a little sister, each took delight in the laughter of the other, in the inches between the floor, and our feet.
As my feet left the ground, as I watched her laugh, as I laughed with her, I understood worship as sisters. She did not ask for me, and I did not ask for her, but we got each other, and it's true that I could not love her more if we had been born in the same house.
The Spirit of Adoption makes such sense to me in that interaction...but in the midst of visions, worship, and mending in the inches between the floor and our feet, the Lord spoke these words to me that will change my life forever. "YOU ARE NOT A GRASSHOPPER! Grasshoppers don't change lives for the better, grasshoppers were not created in My image, grasshoppers do not have sisters who get such joy in those inches between floor and feet, grasshoppers do not teach, they do not learn, they do not live joy filled lives with the intent to change the world, they do not have friends that love the Image I have placed within them...you do all of these, and all you have witnessed. From this day forward, every lie that has been told to you, I condemn in the inches which you and your sister left between the floor and your feet. I conquer as you race to the throneroom with a piece of the dream I placed in you. With a little sister of my choosing, I speak these words to you and conquer these lies "YOU ARE NOT A GRASSHOPPER!" With that, I kid you not, my heart literally closed its wound.
Not to say that things which have occurred do not cause me ache, but they will, by God's grace, begin to affect my perception of MYSELF less, and less, until they do it no more.
Grasshoppers don't lead, they don't inspire, they don't live for much of anything. They get stepped on, fed to spiders, drown in pools, and in in Texas, when it's hot, way too many of them exist. I can't believe I saw myself like that. In two evenings, and really one, 25 years of mindset broke loose and began to fall away.
Grasshopper? How sad that I would be so blind. That I would be so deceived as to my worth to God, and people, that I would consider myself worthy of nothing more than being stepped on. What a heartbreaking revelation that was. Now here I am. Sometimes, I don't know where I'll go. I don't know where I'll be at Christmas, or where I'll sleep this summer, and yet, I know this: I have only ever known one Father, and that Father loves me more than my ability to comprehend that word, or the action He or His people place behind it. That Father believes in three pound babies with no other parent to speak of. That Father's call resounds "YOU ARE NOT A GRASSHOPPER!"
I will remember if forever as we left the floor behind our feet, He said "See her? I called you to love her. If I believed you were a mere grasshopper, don't you think I would've chosen differently? That young woman, by your own mouth, is a precious gift, an anointed prize, you already told me it astounds you that I chose to make you her big sister, but let me tell you something, little blue eyed girl, LISTEN TO ME! That young woman is all that you say, and she is very precious to me, and to you, but you seem to believe that I gave her to you IN SPITE OF WHO YOU ARE. You're wrong. I know what I'm doing. You say you were obedient, and YOU WERE OBEDIENT, but I did not choose to forge love in either of your hearts IN SPITE OF yourselves, I did it BECAUSE of it. The anointing on your life is immense. You are called to mighty things, things which require exquisite amounts of patience, gentleness, joy, and an ability to embrace my glory. Your name means "Court Dweller", "Honest Counselor", "Attendant of the King." Do you believe that's coincidence? You have sat at my feet, in my very Courts, since the day you were born, and since that moment when, at the age of three, you promised yourself to my Kingdom forever, I so promised myself to you. How many people in this world do you believe have the ability to call themselves front row dwellers? Do not be deceived, it's an honorable place you hold, and that little sister of yours, she's yours because of who you are, not in spite of it. Don't apologize to her. Are you kidding me? Do you see her? Does it look like she's sad? Does she look like she wishes she'd been given a different sister? NO! I gave YOU to her for a reason, because you will look into her depths and call forth her dreams as one who sees my face, because you will love her as one who dances beneath my breath, and it wasn't in spite of a single thing, but because of all of them. YOU ARE NOT A GRASSHOPPER!
Athena sat on my couch this morning and ate pancakes. I apologized to her if my intense words in a Friday night conversation had hurt or surprised her at all, and I read the Numbers passage to her. I told her clearly "I said those things because I know you are not a grasshopper." The problem was, the whole time I was speaking I saw myself as one, and didn't perceive that I had much to offer her at all. She began to tear up and whispered "You are NOT a grasshopper!" I looked her square on and said "I know, and neither are you!"
Thanking God for the opportunity to jump in the throne room with one so special, for what we left behind between the floor and our feet, for the anthem of warriors, not grasshoppers, and for decades of lies being redeemed by unchanging truth, day, by day, by day.
All glory to the unchanging, immeasurable God,
Still Jumping,
Courtney
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